Rupert Giles (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} giles_watching) wrote,@ 2006-01-23 19:08:00 |
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What is the greatest sacrifice you have made for love?
There was the time I saved two month’s worth of pocket money to buy my mother a bottle of scent for Christmas. She was so grateful. I wanted her to wear it always, but she said it must be saved for very, very special occasions. Poor woman. She put it on her handkerchief that day and perhaps that is the greatest sacrifice she ever made for love.
I spent a bemused evening inhaling gas fumes and trying to understand the American character when Jenny dragged me to spend an evening in an arena full of big motor vehicles. That is a sacrifice I’d be glad to make again, if she were still here to insist we go.
I’ve made many sacrifices for what I regard as my duty. I don’t regret them, but they weren’t for love. Considering it, I have to admit that love has always come second. Perhaps I told myself that when the time was right, I would give equal time to my personal life that I had given to the Watchers’ Council. But I’ve come to realize that one does what one is comfortable with.
Or perhaps, I remember the one sacrifice I did make and don’t know if I can do it again.
Once I was entwined in someone’s life. I felt less than myself when he wasn’t at my side. I could walk into a room and sense if he were there, whether I could see him or not. I didn’t think in terms of forever; I don’t think many young men do, but I thought he was as necessary to me as oxygen.
Then I left him. I sacrificed everything for love. I loved myself more than him. I loved my soul and staying with him, I knew I would lose it.
Of course, with the years, I not only knew I made the right decision, I began to feel that way, too. But there were too many desolate hours until I reached that stage. And I never allowed anyone to mean that much to me again.
Until Jenny. She made me feel as though I walked out of a dark room into the sunlight. Sadly, it was only a short time we had together. There’s not much more I’m comfortable in saying about it.
But life has taught there are days to be filled and that my work is something the world needs to have done. I’m lucky to have it.
There was the time I saved two month’s worth of pocket money to buy my mother a bottle of scent for Christmas. She was so grateful. I wanted her to wear it always, but she said it must be saved for very, very special occasions. Poor woman. She put it on her handkerchief that day and perhaps that is the greatest sacrifice she ever made for love.
I spent a bemused evening inhaling gas fumes and trying to understand the American character when Jenny dragged me to spend an evening in an arena full of big motor vehicles. That is a sacrifice I’d be glad to make again, if she were still here to insist we go.
I’ve made many sacrifices for what I regard as my duty. I don’t regret them, but they weren’t for love. Considering it, I have to admit that love has always come second. Perhaps I told myself that when the time was right, I would give equal time to my personal life that I had given to the Watchers’ Council. But I’ve come to realize that one does what one is comfortable with.
Or perhaps, I remember the one sacrifice I did make and don’t know if I can do it again.
Once I was entwined in someone’s life. I felt less than myself when he wasn’t at my side. I could walk into a room and sense if he were there, whether I could see him or not. I didn’t think in terms of forever; I don’t think many young men do, but I thought he was as necessary to me as oxygen.
Then I left him. I sacrificed everything for love. I loved myself more than him. I loved my soul and staying with him, I knew I would lose it.
Of course, with the years, I not only knew I made the right decision, I began to feel that way, too. But there were too many desolate hours until I reached that stage. And I never allowed anyone to mean that much to me again.
Until Jenny. She made me feel as though I walked out of a dark room into the sunlight. Sadly, it was only a short time we had together. There’s not much more I’m comfortable in saying about it.
But life has taught there are days to be filled and that my work is something the world needs to have done. I’m lucky to have it.
